Is Your Stress Relief Really Causing More Stress?
You know that feeling of finishing a doozy of a workday (or day home with your kids), you are way too wound up to even think about making dinner, the kids are already fighting upstairs, and you just need to decompress? You pour a glass of wine, plop down on the couch, scroll your phone, and place an order for takeout just so you can get a minute to breathe.
Relief. You’ve been waiting all day for this. As you scroll all the things on your phone, your mind becomes sweetly distracted and the wine is helping your body soften little by little. Before you know it, the doorbell rings and you’re calling the kids down for pizza.
The hard truth? The wine, the mindless scrolling, the unhealthy takeout-these are all avoidance behaviors. Avoidance behaviors feel so good in the moment, but actually create more problems long term. Sucks, right?
If you choose to escape the feelings of anxiety or stress instead of feeling them, they’re still there when the avoidance behavior is over. Then what? This can create bad cycles of unhealthy behaviors that lead to more stress and anxiety, which leads to more avoidance behaviors, do you see where I’m going with this?
So then how the hell are you supposed to unwind after your nerves have been grated raw all day? Great question. I could totally send you “15 ways to reduce stress,” but no one (like, absolutely no one) wants to do any of these in the actual moment of high stress. You want instant reprieve, right?
I think you know that Rome wasn’t built in a day, blah, blah, blah, but it is all about baby steps. Build a day that supports your mental health and do it slowly. Maybe tomorrow you can wake up 15 minutes before everyone else to just sit quietly and wake up before the all the madness begins. Celebrate that you made that small step for yourself. Then next week, maybe wake up 30 minutes early and journal for 15 minutes or go for a quick walk. Start to build the day that supports you.
In the mean time, take several deep breaths, be patient with yourself, drink more water, and maybe less coffee…
